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Married couples are connected by noiseless actions and small gestures. They are quiet.

One of the many glues that holds couples together is silent and nondescript. They are small behaviors like passing each other in the hallway, getting in the car, picking up dirty socks, buying milk at 10:00 P.M. for cereal in the morning, making the bed.

There’s safety in routine. There’s even refuge in it. When life is terrible, and you make it home with the milk, you feel safe. When you and your spouse are happy in your marriage, your routines and habits soothe you like nothing else in this world can.

Take your time and relish in the things that make your marriage work for you both. This is an ideal opportunity for you to celebrate the joyful routines and habits of your relationship because you are observing the good aspects that hold you together.

If you are alive, change is predictable. Change takes time. When two people stand up in a canoe in a hurry, the canoe tips. 

If you discuss your routines and habits and acknowledge what you want, instead of harping on the things you do not want, you will have a greater chance of creating a life that works for you as a couple if you stay positive. 

Encourage the behaviors you wish to encourage and ask for what you want. Asking your spouse for what you want is a skill you can learn. Asking for help prepares you for aging. 

Small adjustments in your routines and habits shift the course of your marriage in the very direction you send it. If you want to head toward joy and financial security in your marriage, then you must continually adjust your routines and habits to reach those destinations. 

Your lives will move in the direction of your routines and habits.